Emotion FEAT drugs

Ephedrin promotes adrenaline development in a huge quantities. Do you try to superintend this condition? When adrenaline skips, as a slut on her client, it's rather difficult to control emotions. This soft drug thrice complicates your problem. Ephedrin is like ecstasy, however I adhibit the first sometimes but never the second. I'm amused with this process. Instead of chillinging on a disco, shakeing the charms as the last notfallen down leaf of a maple, enjoying 'the bought' uncontrollability which supervises typical consciousness during this moment, I'm controlling my craziness. It's over tremendous! Ephedrin has learnt me so much things. Now I adhibit it very seldom, once a week or twice maximum ... Now without application of this soft drug I can smile dazzling, sticking a plug in a hand by myself under the table. I can seem the happiest girl, enduring a great grief and be absolutely unfortunate when my soul and body are on pleasure peak. It's very interesting to vassal to myself the imaginary emotions . Why? Probably you will consider my explanation as a whim of the small spoilt girl... Scince my childhood I was wished to be especial, not such as everybody, convinced that I'm unique. But I don't want to be such - 'all such, and I wish to be the most abruptly'! I created an ideal image by myself, should to submit it, becouse I'm 'a good girl' - I don't want to upset my family. Probably, I have lost, playing this fascinating performance of life, but I risk to be incomprehensible, disallow, opening the real face. Certainly, it is luxary, but I'm too weak to sustain emotional loneliness, so I'm playing several heroes at one time in 'this film'. It's pleasant to me. It's pleasant to be always different: I even was ill with an anorexia meaningly in the past to don this image (must say it was rather refreshing wise). My former boyfriend has told to me: 'You are not mad, but you are excentric. You shouldn't be born in modern world... probably much later... in 1000 years perhaps ... Or on the contrary - a bit earlier, at the time of Mulen Ruzh. But even then you wouldn't be understand...'. He often repeated that I was much more forthright with myself in my manuscripts, than with him in a real life. We left tougether under his final phrase 'I really like you, but I am afraid of about what you are silent'. It was the compliment
In Russia there are special mentality (I hate this word), and I'm not entered in it for some reason . I shouldn't exist, but nevertheless - here I am, live, from flesh and blood. On the 1 course of university I published the article about drugs, music and emotions, for what was wished to be dismiss from my university. But now I'm on 4 course... Sometimes it seems to me a monstrous mistake, exact a malicious joke. In 1,5 months in the newspaper there was reciprocal article that I must be exterminating as a separate species. I had laughed: it had appeared the article to be custom-made, meaning not real . I hate to write by request because simple I cannot do so..............